Attraction is inevitable. One way or the other, every man tumbles for a girl and I too was no exception.
It was during my school days, years back. The teen age craze for love and the rage of being with a girl had been hovering over my head.
It took me months just to spark a conversation on Facebook. My friend request on Facebook had been accepted within a few hours but messaging a simple hi was like typing nuclear codes for a nuclear attack. I gathered all the courage and messaged her one day, however that didn’t hit the target. Since then, messages started to be seen but were stuck in the chat box, without a reply. I wasn’t able to control my fingers on the keyboard while she seemed to be too resilient, holding off her fingers running over the keyboard. I wanted to know what she felt while I messaged as she never ignored to see my messages. The desperation and eagerness was huge on social media but while I used to see her in school, there was nothing, there was nothing like I was sending her tons of messages.
Miracle, out of nowhere she replied to one of my messages. After that, replies started being casual. One the other side there was me, being in the same school, having no guts just to bid a simple hi to her. Smile was far, I could barely stand in her sight, I used to run away and she did the same. The conversation were limited to Facebook. If you ask me, the struggle to bring those conversation to reality was real. Those smilies, cries, angriness and other emotions were strictly virtual. In reality, there was nothing, we were strangers.
Maybe we would have been a good couple and maybe we could have had a strong bonding. We shared everything on Facebook for two years but not outside facebook.
Living in Kathmandu was already hard for me. Alone at home, dad being abroad and mom being posted in different army camps across country, I was always alone. During those times, she had been my real companion, the one who cared wether I was sleeping, eating and taking good care of my health. We shared every updates we had during the day, how our classes went and how good our day was. We were couples but that was all virtual. We shared numbers, house location and everything but we never saw each other outside facebook. I never had that courage to ask and she never made that space for me to ask. Maybe my approach is going wrong, that used to be my thought at those times. My fear driven mind was always afraid that she may stop talking to me if I said anything stupid or did anything unusual.
Nothing is constant. Life has its own pace and changes which are certainly unavoidable. Due to circumstances I had to travel for my studies and she too was forced to do the same. Now we were apart by country and time zones. The Facebook distance was same, no matter where we were but gradually the frequency of our conversation decreased. The vast differences of our timezone played a negative role in our virtual relation.
“Action speaks louder than the words, MY…”
A single photo and that single caption of her with a boy shattered my glass of hope.
