What if I could express?

 What if I could express?

What if I could express how I feel,

The anger and rage inside me,

The restrains that’s within me,

The expression cage inside me..

The way I see the world

The way I believe the world 

The good in me 

The bad in me 

I don’t believe if anybody would understand now,

What if I could express?

What if I could express?

What if I could express the love

My caring and compassionate heart

For those who are left behind

For those who fall behind

Poor souls who need a hand

Poor souls being swallowed by the quicksand

Helpless creatures in the wild 

All old, youth and child 

What if I could express?

What if I could express love?

What if I could express my loss?

Of all my dear ones, 

Those who were far and also the near ones,

Those who were close to my soul

Those who received my care

those whom I loved by heart 

Those who I couldn’t think apart

What if I could express love?

Every now and then 

I get this feeling of lost

The expression part of me have been tossed

Tossed somewhere that I’m having hard time to find 

Making myself the expression blind

I want to express and I want to learn 

I cannot see myself being burnt 

The simplicity of expression 

The plasticity of expression 

I want to regain it 

In the long run in life sustain it, 

I miss to express 

I’m having hard time to process,

What if I could express

What if I could express it all? 

पाउँदिन

 खुसी आउँथ्यो होला साथमा, म ल्याउन पाउँदिन

यस्पाली पनि सुख्खा दशैँ , म आउन पाउँदिन

हर्षो उल्लास गाउँ घरमा, साथी भाई जम्मा होलान् 

हेर्ने ईच्छा भएपनि, म च्याउन पाउँदिन 

हालियो होला लिंग पिंग, सबैले झड्कार्दाहुन् मच्चाएर

हरेक साल हाल्ने पिंगको काम्रो, म ख्याउन पाउँदिन

उ हो मेरो साथी

हाँस्ने बेला सँगै हाँस्ने, दुखको बेला दुख बाँढ्ने

मनको कुरा फ्याट्ट बुझ्ने, उ हो मेरो साथी 

केही दिन पछिको भेट हुँदा होस्, भेट्न जाँदा थोरै लेट हुँदा होस्

खिस्स हाँसेर दाँत देखाउने, उ हो मेरो साथी

संकटमा पर्दा सल्लाह दिने, चुप लाग भन्दा हल्ला गर्दिने 

उत्पट्यान्ग काममा माहिर जो, उ हो मेरो साथी

खल्ती रित्तिदाँ सापटी दिने, सापटी देको चाहीँ फिर्ता नदिने

अच्चम्मको बैंक हो जो, उ हो मेरो साथी

आफ्नी रानी सँग घुम्न जाने, रेस्टुरेन्टमा के के हो के के खाने

केही ऩाखाई सुत्छु म आज  भन्ने,, उ हो मेरो साथी

केटी सँग देखे गिज्याउने, सिंगल भइस भन्दै खिज्याउनेॉं

सयौं साथीको लभ गुरु, उ हो मेरो साथी

प्राय काम सँगै गर्ने, कुरा भावना आदानप्रदान गर्ने

मिठ्ठो सम्बन्ध जो सँग छ मेरो, उ हो मेरो साथी 

CRY

Deep down me There is a boy

He is almost like me, he loves to enjoy

The greatest gift he has is, that he can cry

I tried to do the same but, my eyes are arid dry

 

 

Sometimes I ask myself, why cannot I cry? 

The answers is my upbringing, that I cannot justify

Some think that I’m heartless, some think I am mean

Understand me dear, this is not what I always had been

 

My grandpa had always taught me, crying is not for boys

So suppressing my tears , became my choice 

My granny always told me, crying makes a boy weak

So I trained my eyes, not to react quick 

 

As I was growing up, there came my friends 

And they too never cried, they were well trained 

When I look back  at my school life, there used to be a boy 

Crying was a part of him but there were moments of joy

 

My father wanted me to be strong, to be a man 

Well certainly in his advices, crying was a total ban 

Mother was a bit sensitive, she heard my inner voice

She too didn’t want to see me being “so called” weak, she wanted me to rejoice 

 

My brother is fierce, thinks crying is for babies 

Who knows what he has suppressed deep within, there could be something... maybe 

Well there comes my sister, crying once in a while 

To persuade father to do what she wants, we thought it’s her style 

 

What I think as a grown up is, crying isn’t just the tears 

I believe it’s a way to get rid of, the inner fears

science proves that it’s a way of boosting up your mood 

Self soothing isn’t just a benefit, for eyes too crying is good

 

I know all these things, I know them by heart 

Today I realise knowledge is not the only thing,  to make you smart

I feel the pain, I try to cry 

No matter how much it hurts, my eyes are desert dry

चुन्यो तिम्लाई यो मुटुले

चुन्यो तिम्लाई यो मुटुले, एउटै कक्षा पढ्दाखेरी

छुट्यो साथ जिन्दगीमा हामी अघि बढ्दाखेरी

के सोचेको के भयो खै, दुबै माथी पुग्नु थियो

धक्का दियौ झारीदियौ सँगै भर्यांग चढ्दाखेरी

पुग्यौ माथी खुशी छु म, मुर्ती मात्र भएको छु 

दैबले नै थापे हात , भर्यांग बाट लढ्दाखेरी

सम्झन्छौ र? के सम्झन्थ्यौ, सम्झनालाई जलाएथ्यौ

डढेको थ्यो मेरो शरीर, मेरा तस्बिर डढ्दाखेरी

न त बोली, न थ्यो भेटघाट, मुख हेर्ने फुर्सत पाईनौ,

फुल लिएर किन आयौै, म चिहानमा सढ्दाखेरी

I’ll say the truth

I’ll say the truth
On your face

This is not a game

This is not a race

The time we spent 
Day and night

Cuddling each other 

Hugging tight

The truth hurts me

The truth brakes me

Sometimes night go sleepless

It shakes me

It’s easy to be said 

It’s hard to be done 

When I came back for you 

You were gone 

The trust we had 

All promises we made

I never had a feeling 

One day it’ll fade

Miles apart

Closer by heart 

That’s what I believed

You’ve shattered that 

My walls have crumbled

I’m shattered now,

How could you do this

Just tell me how?

I cared for you

I shared for you

For those precious gifts

I dared for you

I took you for trips,

Dedicated my time 

I gave you my heart 

Was it a crime? 

After all,

You’ve made this decision 

To be apart,

It’s tough for me

Not just hard

You’ve made your call

Now it’s my turn

I’ll decide to walk 

Or to run

Please don’t block me 

Give me the way

I want to be far

Away and away

Beyond the horizon

Place never to see

I’ll be sobbing there

Where you’ll never be 

To go there I’ll end it all

End it here

Once and for all

I hope you’ll forget 

I hope you’ll never miss

Please wish me one thing 

Rest In Peace 

Rest In Peace

बिदेशीको कहानी

सबेरै उठी काम छ जानु,

खाली पेट, छैन केही खानु,

पावस के खान त्यो अँधेरी रातमा,

हिन्यो कामको लुगा, झोला बोकी हातमा।

न मुख नै धुन भ्याउनु छ,

पुगी स्टेशन टाइमको, एउटै ट्रेन समाउनु छ, 

छ थोरै पाउनु तर धेरै छ गुमाउनु 

रात दिन नभनी कलिला हात ति खियाउनु छ

सम्झदै घरका रमाइला दिन,

ट्रेनको सिटमा बसी टोलाउनु छ, 

रुमल्लीदै सपनाका महलहरुमा,

अनेकौं भावना मनभित्रै खेलाउनु छ। 

झसक हुन्छ, झर्ने ठाउँ पुग्छ 

केही डलरले हप्ता दिन जो पुर्याउनु छ 

काम छेउ पुग्छ, सुस्केरा हाली सोच्छ

फेरी त्यही टाउको दुखाई नै त दोहेर्याउनु छ

पुग्छ केटो काम आज त छिट्टै,

बोसलाई खुशी पार्ने आश जो छ ,

बोस आउँछ, कराउँछ ,बक्बकाउँदै जान्छ

उल्टै बोस त निराश पो छ । 

न्याउरो मुख पारी केटोले

अब पुरै दिन काम  गर्नु छ,

साथीले छलेको कामको कम्प्लेन

पेलीएर जेलिएर सुधार्नु छ ।

थकाईछ ,दुखाइछ ,जिउमा उसका,

सबै पिडा त उसले सहनु छ,

लहै लहैमा आयो यहाँ, साथीको,

आँसु उसका अब बहनु छ।

कष्ट ,पिडा , ढाँटेर छलेर

हाँस्को फोटो त खिचाउनु छ,

लाईक, कमेन्ट र रियाक्सन हेर्दै,

आँखा त उसले मिचाउनु छ ।

टुटेर, फुटेर बाँचेको उ,

आशको अस्तित्व बचाउनु छ,

ठुलो मान्छे भइस् है भन्छन् सबले,

खिस्स हाँसेर पचाउनु छ ....

Nepali poem

Samjhaekai theyae

Galti k vayo ma bata priyaa

Timlai nai ta mailae samjhaeko theyae

Uthda basda haasda khelda

Timlai nai ta mailae samjhaeko theyae

Chuchuro ma gham lae sparsha garda

Timlai nai mailae samjhaeko theyae

Sushaudo khola ko sanglo pani ma

Timrai muhar ta mailae samjhaeko theyae

Gau ma hoss yaa sahar ma hoss

Desh ma huda yaa bidesh ma

Timrai muhar ta thyo aakha ma mero

Timrai swor ta thyo bhaka ma mero

Samjhaeko thyae timi lai 

Jiwan kaa harek paila ma 

Jivan Ka harek chhyad ma, 

Kina harayau priya timi 

Kina taadheyau ma bata. 

Aakhir k garaeko thyae ra mailae 

Hardam harpal samjhaekai theyae